


better than my dreams

by daffodil_blue



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-16 05:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15430188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daffodil_blue/pseuds/daffodil_blue
Summary: shamelessly soft sleepy cuddling and a simon who is very much in love.inspired by this dr suess quote: "you know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."updated: now with a second chapter from bram's pov!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> my lovely friend grace from the creeksecrets discord group requested a fic based on this quote about a million months ago, so i wrote this (if you want proof of how many millions of months ago this was, check the date on simon's email - i'll say no more). i have shared it with my discord buddies, but it's time that i finally shared it here too.
> 
> endless thanks to grace for the inspo and to all my creeksecrets friends, who are unfailingly lovely every single moment. love ya <3

> “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” 
> 
> ― Dr. Seuss

* * *

Bram has taken my hand, which is nothing new. What's new is that he's taken my hand while we lie in my bed. That's new. Though very welcome. It's not every day your parents consent to give you a whole night alone with your boyfriend for the first time. 

I sigh softly - a happy, quiet sigh - and turn, snuggling my head into his jumper. It's soft, and warm, and lovely, like him. He brings his free arm up around my back, keeping the fingers of his other hand laced through mine. A gentle kiss is dropped onto the top of my head. 

The soft voice of Elliott Smith echoing from my record player doesn't quite drown out the ticking of the alarm clock on my desk, or the beating of our hearts through our chests, safe, solid, dependable. I can't lie, not even for a second: this moment is everything. 

My gaze falls on the clock despite itself - 10 to 11. We should probably be settling down soon. It's a miracle we're even being given this night at all, but Bram's mom is out of town for two days and Garrett's too busy to have him stay - or at least he claimed he was, but I'm dubious as to whether or not that was true, given the massive wink he aimed at me when recounting the news. 

I turn back towards Bram and smile onto his shoulder, then transition seamlessly into a kiss to his neck. His head turns to mine and he catches my lips in his. We kiss for a few minutes, sweet and slow, then he mumbles something into my mouth. I draw back. 

“What was that?” I whisper. 

He smiles. “Just telling you you're beautiful.” 

“Oh,” I say, and I feel like I'm melting once again. I should be used to it by now - we've been dating for several months - but he still surprises me every day with how much love he shows. 

I really can't explain what this feels like. More than anything, I feel _full_ , like I've been given something I was missing before, without me quite realising I needed it. But it's more than that. I feel at peace now. I'm like a magnet for happiness - I only notice when I'm _not_ smiling because it just seems so rare these days. 

Maybe I'll never find the words for this, but whatever it is, I am ready for it to last forever. 

Eventually I pull back. 

“We should probably get ready for bed, turn off the music and stuff.”

He nods and smiles. I kiss him briefly once more, then stand up and wander over to the record player, where XO has been setting a soft backdrop for our quiet time. The bedroom door has remained open all evening, but my parents shouldn't have worried - tonight isn't a night for fast pace, but a time for quiet peace and togetherness. Some nights, all you want to do is cuddle up and talk. Anyway, Nora is right next door, and that's probably the only reason my parents agreed to this at all.

I switch off the music, then turn to him, still lying on the bed, smile stretched across his face. Wordlessly he reaches out; I take his hand and pull him up. 

“Should probably go brush my teeth,” I say. “Hygiene, et cetera.” 

He grins, and moves to fish a wash kit from his bag. “Lead on.”

We find ourselves side by side in front of the sink, gently bumping our hips together and giggling around our toothbrushes. I'm struck over and over by the domesticity of the scene. I think I could get used to it. 

Ten minutes later we've called out a goodnight to my parents and changed into more sleep-appropriate clothing. The light is dim in my bedroom - just the fairy lights remain on. My mom had asked me once earlier this afternoon, half heartedly, about the possibility of bringing out the camp bed for Bram, but I think she'd known even as she said it that that wouldn't be happening, not when I already possess my own very wonderful, blissfully cosy double bed. I bring the covers up over us, and he shifts closer, and then for a moment there's quiet. All I can hear is the slow ticking of my clock. 

Bram's hand lands on my waist, and he smoothes his thumb back and forth there gently. He presses his lips to my forehead. “Goodnight, sunshine,” he whispers. 

I smile up at him. “Goodnight,” I say softly, then, “I love you.”

He kisses me once, gently, on the lips. “I love you too.”

We settle down, tucked up close but with room to breathe, and I feel him take my hand where it lies between us. Soon, his breathing deepens into sleep, his fingers still laced through mine, but I find it harder to drift off. And for once, I can't really bring myself to care. 

It's just that he's so beautiful. Not just _cute_ (though he is), not just _hot_ (though he's that too), but _beautiful_. Undeniably, absurdly beautiful all over every inch of him, from his soft voice to his brilliant mind to his gentle heart to those two freckles on his cheekbone. 

I can feel my heart slowly dancing inside my chest. This beautiful boy is lying beside me in my bed, asleep with his hand in mine. Dreaming, and maybe even dreaming of me. 

Of all the miracles ever performed, this is both the most surprising and the most wonderful. 

For a long while I simply lie there, taking him in. I can't sleep - my mind is swirling with too much love for that. In another life it would be debilitating, but instead I just feel free. 

Bram lets out a sleepy mumble and shifts, clutching my hand more firmly. I look across at my phone, lying a foot away on my other side. With my free right hand, I reach across and grab it, then pull up the gmail app. Then, lying there in the dark and quiet, I tap out a message, one-handed. 

 

 

FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com

TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com

DATE: May 4 at 11:47 PM

SUBJECT: Beautiful 

 

Dear Blue, 

I'm typing this out one-handed, next to you in my bed (you have my other hand), so I'm relying on autocorrect to keep me suitably cute and grammatical. I'm honestly quite tired, but I'm not at all sleepy. I can't help it. 

So there's this quote, and I can't remember who said it, and I probably read it on one of Alice's instagram captions or something, but I can remember it, more or less. 

(I swear I'm still a cynic. Don't shake your head at me. I'm not at all romantic. Nope. Nil. Nada.)

(I'm only a romantic when it comes to you.)

Okay, here it is: _You know you're in love when you can't sleep, because reality is finally better than your dreams._

And I'm lying here and I'm thinking about this, because for some reason there's a beautiful boy lying sleeping next to me, and he's got my hand loosely threaded through his, and he's making soft noises, and he looks so peaceful and beautiful, and I'm thinking that this must be what it's like to be in love. 

And no, I can't fall asleep. Because you are my reality. And I don't think the greatest dreamers in world could think up something as beautiful as this. 

Just thought you should know. 

I'm sure I'll get some sleep eventually (don't want a return of Zombie Jacques), and when I wake up you'll be there with your sunshine smile and your soft eyes and your perfect, gorgeous everything. I'm so lucky, and I'm also so in love. 

I love you. I hope you're having the sweetest of dreams. I know I am. 

Love, 

Simon xx

 

 

I hit send, tap my phone off, and shove it to the side. I shift closer to Bram. 

When I finally fall asleep, it's in the warmth of his arms.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a few requests for a sequel containing bram's reaction on waking up and discovering how adorably sappy his boyfriend had been overnight, and i couldn't resist writing this! i don't usually write from bram's pov and i find it slightly harder and more subtle than using simon's voice, but also incredibly fun. thanks to all the lovely people who commented on the first chapter, and especially to TheaMon and Mrs_Shoey who suggested this. hope you enjoy!

> “Any day spent with you is my favorite day. So, today is my new favorite day.”
> 
> — A. A. Milne, _Winnie the Pooh_

* * *

When I wake up, I try to fling my arms out dramatically in a sleepy stretch. It only half works, because of the presence of a certain Simon Spier in the bed beside me. _Oh._  

All of a sudden, this funny, glorious feeling bubbles through me from the bottom of my stomach - a giddy, fizzy feeling that makes me immediately awake - and I feel sunshine on my face, though maybe that's just his loveliness shining out of him as he sleeps. He _is_ still asleep, and deeply, by the look of it: his breaths are deep and slightly noisy, his shoulder is smushed against my side, and some of his hair has fallen over his eyes. Very carefully, so as not to wake him, I lift my hand and smooth the stray hair back away from his face. His hair is as soft as it always is. You'd think, wouldn't you, that I'd fallen as much in love with this boy as it is possible to fall, but every time he manages to surprise me, claiming another inch of my heart just for something as simple as looking so pretty and so peaceful as he sleeps. 

It would take a book - a lot of books - for me to write down everything I love about Simon Spier. And I'm not talking a thin book - if everyone else on the planet was _Sorcerer’s Stone_ –sized love, Simon would be _Order of the Phoenix._

For a while I just lie back and look at him. 

Eventually, I notice that the notification light on my phone is flashing. I gently smooth back Simon's hair one last time, then carefully reach across him. When I've grabbed my phone I sit back, doing my best not to disturb him. He remains fast asleep, and I have to resist the urge to just gaze at him fondly forevermore. 

I switch on my screen, and see the Gmail icon. Something fizzes in my stomach again. 

When I see the email address, I almost drop my phone. 

I look back at my boyfriend. “When did you do this, hey, Si?” I whisper, though I know he can't hear me. I open up the email, and read. 

My hand moves to cover my mouth. Oh. _This boy._

To borrow one of his favorite phrases, I truly _can't even._  

I read each word, slowly, with all the care that this email deserves. Each word makes my stomach swoop a little more. 

The truth of it is, I fell in love with this boy's emails. His writing is so funny and so ridiculous and so perfect and so _Simon_. I wasn't lying - there's magic in his sentence fragments. Even before I knew for sure that Jacques was him, it was hard not to read those emails in his voice, because he's just so full of life, and it's that life and loveliness that pours out of the emails he sends me. 

But this is truly next level. 

_I don't think the greatest dreamers in the world could think up something as beautiful as this._

How true it is. 

I read the email, and then I read it again, and one more time for luck, then I click the star that will save it to the most precious part of my inbox. Although, really, every part of my inbox for Blue’s address deserves a star - they're all from the same wonderful human. 

Then I set my phone down, and shift closer to him so that there's only centimeters between our noses. He shuffles slightly without waking. I let my happiness show fully all over my face - he said he was waiting to see my morning smile, after all - then I lean forward and kiss him. 

He stirs. “Wha--”

I kiss him again, and again - quick kisses, gentle kisses, caring kisses, precious kisses. I kiss his cheeks, and his nose, and his forehead, then his lips one more time, then I pull away. 

He's looking a bit dazed, but the grin on his face is stunningly goofy. 

“Wait, what time is it? Isn't it really early still?” he croaks, then looks horrified. “I cannot believe I just asked you that.”

I lean back, trying not to let my giggles become all-out laughter. 

He laughes too, the Simon way, which is to say slightly uncontrollably. “Here you are, waking me up with romantic kisses, and the first thing I do is complain it's too early. I'm officially the least romantic person in the world.”

I lift my eyebrows. “Tell that to the Simon Spier who wrote me a midnight email with the subject line ‘Beautiful’ and the most romantic Dr Suess quote that exists.”

He blushes. It's adorable. 

“You read that, then?” he says, chuckling nervously. I nod and smile at him, and reach out to smooth my thumb over his cheek. 

“You have no idea how much I love you, Simon Spier.”

He looks up at me, still slightly red (adorable, adorable, _adorable_ ) then slowly leans in and kisses me. I wrap my arms around his waist. We keep all our actions gentle, and I try to convey through every heartbeat how precious he is. 

He pulls back, and the suddenness of the frown on his face is hilarious. “Wait - _Dr Suess_? _That's_ who I was quoting in my super romantic email? Are you serious?”

I laugh, and kiss him on the nose. “I'm 99% certain. Look it up if you don't believe me.”

He shakes his head. “I figured that was, like, John Green or something.”

I chuckle. There's a brief pause, and then I say, “Thank you.”

He scruches up his nose. “For what?”

I smile. “For being you,” I say. “Every day and every night. You make every moment my favorite.”

He smiles up at me, and brings his hand up to my cheek. 

I take him in my arms all over again. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as ever, thank you so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is yourzombiejacques if you'd like to say hi! and be sure to shoot any of us a message if you'd like to join creeksecrets on discord. 
> 
> peace and love x


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